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2015 in review

2015 was not my best year, for sure (It was not a good year in the world either, really). In fact, it was probably one of the harder years for me. I'm not going to sugar coat it. Specifically from the beginning of the year to October, I saw and experienced a lot of heart break. There were countless misunderstandings, countless late nights for no good reason, and many lies. But what good is the good, if there is no bad?With this being said, I spent this year trying so many things and pushing my boundaries, trying to understand this life as it is. 
I think this year was my breaking point for many things. I always felt like I was watching life pass me by, I felt like I wasn't making an impact, I drank my problems away some nights, I hated a body that didn't deserve to be hated. I didn't have many solid goals.
Then something shifted. Maybe it's the universe (probably), maybe it was the people I surrounded myself with  (or the people I didn't surround myself with), or maybe it was all in myself (definitely). 
Looking back, around this time last year in 2014, my roommates left me some fortune cookies to choose from, asking me to "choose wisely." The one I chose said "Perceived failure is oftentimes success trying to be born in a different way." And I think that really set the one for what my year would be like. It was truly challenging, I faced a lot of new problems, and I never knew what would happen to me. I had countless failures in 2015, in all aspects of my life. But with these failures came new opportunities. I could focus on things that truly me made me happy. 
September is when things began to change. Many of my friends were gone for different reasons, and to put it simply, I was left alone. In the past, this would've torn me apart. I would have been lost, unproductive, and depressed. But something in me just switched. I began to paint more, sew more, go outside more. I was focusing on myself. I was by myself, but I was not lonely. Simultaneously, there were some things that I had to let go of. I learned to take care of myself. I learned how to heal and  recognize my emotions. This is when I truly got in touch with myself. I had no one I had to please. I only had myself. And thus began a true learning and healing period. 
I also began this blog, which has been a great way for me to share my thoughts with others and maybe create some new insight. What a positive impact this has made for me. I am so glad that I have stuck with this, and glad that I am surrounded with a lot of support. 
But here we go, a small review of 2015. I skipped January because it sucked.



       February               was an interesting month to say the least, I did a lot of things that I had never done before. Valentines day was spent with one of my best friends, and I'm glad. I wouldn't have had it any other way. I did karaoke for the first time, and I held a hostess job for about a week. I also visited my friends in Sarasota,   with a couple of my non-new college friends. So I got to have some fun with them and show them around beautiful Sarasota.



                             And then in                                                           March                              I was able to go on a trip with two of my lovely roommates to sweet home Chicago. This was my first time seeing snow in real life, so I went wild. Unfortunately, one of them got pretty sick while we were there, and we each had homework to do, but we still made some awesome memories. I love them so much, and I wish they were my roommates today.
               




 April
was awesome because I was able to visit my dear friend Olive in Seattle!! It was my first time traveling to the west coast and I loved every minute. We did so much together. We went to an auction, a baby shower, the park with their dog Wilson, and we also danced our asses off. Not only that, but I also met many new friends while I was there. Shout out to Dave, Fiona, Jenna, and everyone else I met on the trip! it was unforgettable.

                               
And little did I know that in MAY I would fall in love again. Not with a person, but with a place. San Diego was filled with amazing people and sights, and not only that, but I also got to spend a lot of time with my lovely soul sister Brianna. If I could, I would relive the first twenty-four hours I spent there. I met many fantastic people, and I can't wait for the day when I can meet them again, and one day, live there. See you soon, SD!
June Through August
was filled with a lot of summer memories. There was a lot of long boarding, swimming, rollerblading, and just having a stress free summer. I also got my current job as a barista, which is one of the best things to have happened to me this year. I love my job, and I'm so lucky that I can say that!







           September                   
  brought much change for me as I said already. I did a lot of soul searching and did a lot of art stuff. It was also pretty stressful because of school stuff. But this was the month where Saturn moved into Sagittarius. So it's interesting to note that my life changed a lot while this was happening. I can never truly prove that this has an influence, but I believe that is does. I made a few life changing decisions this month, and I think it was all for the best, even though at the time these decisions were hard to make.                
October was very similar to September. I loved October because I got to spend some time with my lovely friend Stephanie on Halloween, which was super nice. I dressed as Velma but I didn't take many photos. Lucky for me, I was also to visit my Sarasota family, which meant sooo much to me. Being around them was a blessing, and I am so thankful that, even though I have been away for months, I was still able to feel trust and love by my friends. It was as if I had never left. I met tons of people in October, too. And, on October 11, I came out of the closet (publically, so to speak) as bisexual. Although now I identify as pansexual.
 

 November was filled with a lot of stress because of school, but it was also filled with positivity, art, and self acceptance. I took some self portraits and spent time practicing self love, which included eating when I was hungry, writing, drinking a lot of water, and being outside a lot. I painted some canvases and took a lot of pictures. I continued to build relationships with the awesome people I met in October. I began a new journal which has helped me manage my emotions, too.

December
was eventful. Many of my friends came home, I finished up my semester at college, my birthday came and went, as did Christmas. I spent time with my Sarasota fam, 3D design fam, Ohana, and my immediate fam. It was great, considering I don't get to do that very often. I can always look forward to this time of year, simply because I know that I can be together with some lovely people and be myself. This time around it was even better since I had been (mostly) on my own for the last few months.
                             





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And now, onward, to 2016

where I will begin the year in a positive way, with a level head, and my feet planted firmly on the ground. 2015 showed me different sides of myself, and allowed me to learn more. I was able to work on the negative parts on myself and create a better me. With that being said, here are some of my new year's resolutions:
  1. Apply for some creative internships and hopefully get one
  2. Continue working as a Barista
  3. Get through spring semester
  4. Paint and Sew even more
  5. Perhaps become good enough at either to sell my work on Etsy, etc.
  6. Support more local business. Don't buy into cheap labor
  7. Use local ingredients when I can
  8. Spend less money over all
  9. Learn how to do something completely new, like glass blowing 
  10. Move to California by August (or have a plan if it is absolutely impossible

2016 is going to be very focused. I'm going to zero in on my projects and my art, and learn to say no to situations that I don't want to be a part of. I will learn to make time for myself, even if it means losing time that would be spent with others. I'm just done wasting my time. I want to create something more for myself, which I'm not quite sure what that might be just yet. But I am going to make it happen.
And I will conquer 2016.

I hope everyone has a great and safe new year's eve, and I hope 2016 brings us toward a better future.


-Mia

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